Britney & Christina
Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building a barn. While putting up the inside wall, Britney noticed that Christina was tossing every other nail into the garbage can. Britney asked Christina, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Christina said, "The pointed end is on the wrong end of the nail."
Britney said, "Well, don't throw those away, we can use those on the outside wall!"
Driving Licence
Why was Christina Aquilera surprised when she looked at her driver's license?
She had an 'F' in sex.
Top 10 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of A Britney Spears Concert
10. Say Christina Aguilera can whup her ass any day
9. Lay her for free (Sorry, that's something that'll automatically get you IN to a Britney Spears concert)
8. Try to pass yourself off as the opening act
7. Make fun of Justin Timberlake
6. Give her a wedgie
5. Pass around pictures of her when she was in the Mickey Mouse Club
4. Have legitimate proof that she got breast implants
3. Bust her lip-synching
2. Point out that her initials are BS
1. Wait a minute...why the hell would anyone want to go to a Britney Spears concert in the first place?
Show Fur
The all-knowing, all-seeing Karnak held the envelope to his forehead and, while devining the question inside said, "Show Fur".
He then opened the envelope and read, "What Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez will do if their pants get any lower."
Britney's Top is Down
Britney and Christina were observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of Britney's new Mercedes with a coat hanger. Britney: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Christina: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
Madonna, Britney and Christina
Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."
Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."
Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."
Britney & Christina Get Locked Out
Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilerra. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do.
Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said, " Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"
Why was Christina Aguilera banned from swimming in the ocean?
Q. Why was Christina Aguilera banned from swimming in the ocean?
A. Because she makes the fish stink.
Why do dogs like Christina Aguilera so much?
Q. Why do dogs like Christina Aguilera so much?
A. Because she smells like tuna.
Why does Christina Aguilera wear hoop earrings?
Q. Why does Christina Aguilera wear hoop earrings?
A. So she has a place to rest her ankles.
|
