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The Material Girl
The Material Girl is now the Maternity Girl - if she got pregnant in late March she could have her child on Christmas Day -- setting a new world record for irony wrapped in swaddling irreverence.
Mother of the Year
What are the chances of Madonna being named "Mother of the Year?" About the same as Michael Jackson becoming a Big Brother.
Concert in Australia
Why is Madonna filming a concert in Australia?
She likes to perform down under.
Madonna consider
What does Madonna consider formal wear?
Any time her tits are inside her dress.
Madonna and Bob Dole
What's the difference between a used car, Madonna and Bob Dole?
One's an old Dart, one's an old tart, and the other is an old fart.
Madonna going to be called
What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?
Missionary Position Impossible.
Liquor cabinet
Question: What's the first thing Madonna would do as President?
Answer: Liquor cabinet.
Breakfast pastries
How's Madonna similar to breakfast pastries?
They're both pop tarts.
Madonna video and a porno flick
What is the difference between a Madonna video and a porno flick?
Some pornos actually have good sound tracks.
Madonna get electrocuted
How did Madonna get electrocuted?
She blew a fuse.
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