An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
Love is a promise delivered already broken.
I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on.
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was. . . a large Arctic region covered with ice.
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk.
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you are an idiot.
When I first found out that I was going to win this award, I tried really hard - to care. And then I realised; we are all here tonight, because of a common love; me. - upon recieving a particularly unremarkable award
You know what I just realized -- hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
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