Britney & Christina
Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building a barn. While putting up the inside wall, Britney noticed that Christina was tossing every other nail into the garbage can. Britney asked Christina, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Christina said, "The pointed end is on the wrong end of the nail."
Britney said, "Well, don't throw those away, we can use those on the outside wall!"
Britney Spears is so smart
Britney Spears is so smart that, she drank a coke on her pepsi commercial.
Britney Spears's cleavage
What do you call Britney Spears' cleavage?
Silicon Valley.
Britney Spears's next career goal
What's Britney Spears' next career goal?
To learn how to sing.
Rock-Star Computer-Viruses
Trent Reznor Virus: your computer has serious problems
Busta Rhymes Virus: your computer only prints gibberish. FLIPMODE!
Courtney Love Virus: your computer system get redesigned several times
Britney Spears Virus: your computer only pretends to print your work
Backstreet Boys Virus: only pre-teen girls will use your computer
Orgy Virus: your computer downloads porno by itself
Blink 182 Virus: your computer only prints nudie-pictures
Jennifer Lopez Virus: your computer looks nice but doesn't work very well
Will Smith Virus: your computer gets jiggy with it
Kid Rock Virus: yo' computa pretends to be black
KoRn Virus: evry wird u tipe iz mizzpeld
Fiona Apple Virus: every other fuckin' word you fuckin' type comes out as a fuckin' curse
Silverchair Virus: your computer works really well, but for some reason no one buys it
Weird Al Yankovic Virus: your computer prints a parody of every document you have
Top 10 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of A Britney Spears Concert
10. Say Christina Aguilera can whup her ass any day
9. Lay her for free (Sorry, that's something that'll automatically get you IN to a Britney Spears concert)
8. Try to pass yourself off as the opening act
7. Make fun of Justin Timberlake
6. Give her a wedgie
5. Pass around pictures of her when she was in the Mickey Mouse Club
4. Have legitimate proof that she got breast implants
3. Bust her lip-synching
2. Point out that her initials are BS
1. Wait a minute...why the hell would anyone want to go to a Britney Spears concert in the first place?
Top thirty signs to bring to an Nsync concert
1. Is this the NKOTB reunion concert?
2. Does anyone know what state Lance is from?
3. Joey's Hoe #56
4. All the fellas in the house, lemme hear ya say Boom Shaka Laka Boom!
5. This Song Sucks! (and hold it up at the beginning of every song, or even better, hold it up when they're talking)
6. This girl has B.O. (with an arrow pointing to the person next to you)
7. I hate baby blue!
8. I actually like Joey actually
9. I'll Lay Down Beside You AJ!
10. Steve Fatone is HOT! (just a quick way to get yourself on the big screen)
11. What up, J-Dawg? Just wanted to make you feel welcome, yo.
12. Justin & Britney 4-Ever
13. Why don't you guys ever sing "The Hardest Thing?"
14. Hey JC! Where's Bobbi?
15. I made this poster just in case you guys forgot what you looked like (and tape a bunch of teeny posters on it)
16. Scream louder for Chris! Hearing loss comes w/old age!
17. This one's a little hard to explain... at the top, write Justin's To-DoList. Underneath that, write Opening Acts and cross it out. Then write, Britney with a check next to her name, then Tatyana with a check next to hers and then whatever girl is opening at this particular concert, leave the box unchecked.
18. JC's got it goin on FUNKY STYLE!
19. Who's this Lance guy everyone's talking about?
20. JC, will you conduct my school's band?
21. JC, Justin, and Chris all have girlfriends!
22. Britney Spears is my idol!
23. God Musta Spent a Little More Time on ME.
24. Hey! I'm legal!
25. Look at me, I'm not wearing baby blue!
26. JC is a totally narly dude! (Think JC's Character 'Wipeout' on "Emerald Cove" *MMC*)
27. Justin, I'll be your Apple Jacks and you can eat me all day long!
28. Why don't you ever return my phone calls? I want my child support!
29. What possessed you guys to ever write Giddy Up?
30. Dreds & a goatee! Gee Chris, that's CRAZY!
Show Fur
The all-knowing, all-seeing Karnak held the envelope to his forehead and, while devining the question inside said, "Show Fur".
He then opened the envelope and read, "What Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez will do if their pants get any lower."
Funniest joke goin
Britney spears craig david and shaggy were on a plane and someone farts craig david says i'm walking away shaggy says it wasint me and britney spears says opp's i did it again
the next day they are on a plane and someone farts shaggy says it wasnt me craig david says i;m walking away and britney spears says stronger than yesterday.
Stupid men!
There's 4 people on a plane and one is the smartest man in the world, one's a hippie, ones the president and one is britney spears. the plane is about to crash and there's only three parachutes so the president says, " I think i deserve a parachute, afterall, i am the president." So he takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Next britney spears says, " I think i should use the next parachute afterall, i am britney spears." so she jumped out of the plane. then there was only the hippie and the smartest man. They were debating who should use the next parachute and the hippie said, "i dont think we have to worry about anything like that, britney spears just jumped out with my backpack. and they jumped out of the plane.
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