Chick: I've never told anyone this before, but I hate flying. So it would be an awful shame to die now.
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Chick: Boy, that's bad.
Chick: Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?
F.B.I. Agent: Sir, we have a national security matter.
Rockhound: Good for you.
Lev Andropov: Don't touch my uncle! He is the genius of my family. He used to make the tip of the bomb, you know? That finds New York or Washington?
Ronald Quincy: I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are wrong. I am right.
A.J.: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.
Colonel William Sharp: Do you swear on your daughter's life, on my family's life, that you can hit that mark?
Grace Stamper: I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.
President: We didn't see this thing coming?
Dan: Well, our object collison budget's about a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.
Rockhound: This is so much fun, it's freaky!
Rockhound: Well it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour.
Harry Stamper: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work with one foot.
Harry Stamper: How long've you worked for me?
A.J.: Five - wonderful - years.
Harry Stamper: In five years you have never apologized to me this quickly. Something's going on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.
Max: God, it sucks up here.
General Kimsey: The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.
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