[while Bruce is looking a guy next to a broken down car]
Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "ALL FOR WON"
Homeless Man: [holding up a sign] "GOD BEE GOOD HONEY"
Bruce: [holds up his own sign] "WHATEVER HE SAID - >"
Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.
[after God finds the bead that Bruce had earlier threw in the lake]
Bruce: Holy sh... cow.
[looking in mirror]
Bruce: That's the way it was... and that's the way the cookie crumbles... and That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it uh HUH uh HUH.
God: No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.
Bruce: There were so many. I just gave them all what they want.
God: Yeah. Since when does anyone have a clue as to what they want?
Bruce: What if I need you? What if I have questions?
God: That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.
Bruce: Can I have a spooOO...
[a spoon falls out of his mouth]
Bruce: Umm... never mind, I found one.
[Bruce blowing so walk-by-girls dress lifts]
Bruce Nolan: I saw it, and it was good!
Bruce Nolan: Vol? Vol? You want a tissue or something? Can we get Vol a tissue... or a spoon?
Bruce: [Bruce turns around from a mirror and sees the dog urinating on a chair] Grace, the dog!
Grace: I'm in the shower!
God: Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. Now, a single mom who works two full-time jobs, and still finds the time to pick up her kid at soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager that says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.
Bruce: What up with thee.
Bruce: [Opening line] God, why do you hate me?
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