Kate Baker: Like you said, twelve's a big number...
[Sarah banging on the bathroom door]
Lorraine: You blew my concentration, now I get to start all over again... haha
Kate: Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class.
Hank: [motions to his face] This is the moneymaker! I'm not that good of an actor! This is how I get the jobs, I know that.
Tom: Where's Hank?
Nora: He's not gonna make the cut.
Tom: I hope the family isn't to blame.
Nora: [smiles] They're totally to blame.
Nora: Did you not hear me? My brother is missing!
Hank: Did you not hear me? I'm on TV!
Tom: Where's Hank?
Nora: He's not going to make the cut.
Sarah Baker: Release the hound!
Jake: Yeah, without you, we wouldn't be the twelve Bakers anymore. We'd be,
[looks real serious]
Jake: eleven.
[phone rings and Mike gets it]
Mike: Hello?... Whos this?...
[hands the phone to his mom]
Mike: Somebody from somethin' somethin'.
Jessica Baker: Dad! Nigel hit Kim with a dart and I assume he will be punished!
Hank: [with passion] Every once in a while, I carve a pumpkin with a knife made of lollipop sticks...
Nora: [talking on the phone] It totally sucks!
Kate: You need a paramedic?
Tom: No, just a pair o' knees.
Hank: All I'm saying is families are inevitable they're like death or taxes.
[Nora and Hank making out]
Kate: [claps] Nora Stop! Wanna help me in the kitchen? Get a pie, look at a picture of grandma, say the rosary.
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