Tess (in Anna's body): Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.
Anna (in Tess's body): What are you?
Tess (in Anna's body): It's me, Mom.
Anna (in Tess's body): You're not my mother!
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am.
Anna (in Tess's body): Get away, you clone freak!
Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me!
Anna (in Tess's body): Oh my God, you are my mother!
Anna (in Tess's body): Darling. Could you, like, chill for a sec?
Pei-Pei: [about her mother] Oh, she's crazy.
Pei-Pei's Mom: [subtitles] Like a fox.
Tess (in Anna's body): And what are you doing with this?
[grabs box of french fries]
Anna (in Tess's body): I'm eating.
Tess (in Anna's body): You cannot eat fast food.
Anna (in Tess's body): Why not?
Tess (in Anna's body): Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!
Dottie Robertson: Loved your book, I actually read this one.
Anna (in Tess's body): That makes one of us.
Tess (in Anna's body): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
Anna (in Tess's body): So, let's do this thingy.
Ryan: You mean our wedding rehearsal?
Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, whatever.
Ryan: You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just for the heck of it, I was wondering what you were doing on the eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black Harley?
Anna (in Tess's body): Hello, it was a Ducati!
Anna (in Tess's body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
Anna (in Tess's body): So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go!
[they both bump heads and fall to the ground while Harry walks into the room]
Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?
Harry: [straws sticking out of his nose] Look I'm a walrus!
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school.
Tess: Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
[first lines]
Tess: Honey, wake up.
Anna: No.
Tess: Anna. Greet the day.
[last lines]
Pei-Pei: Mama! What are you doing? Mama! Grandpa! Harry! No!
[tackles them, grabs cookies]
Pei-Pei: Okay!
|
