Skylar: You were hoping for a goodnight kiss.
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping for a goodnight lay, but I'd settle for a good night kiss.
Skylar: [Bursts out laughing] How very noble of you.
Will: Thank you. But I was, you know, hoping for a good night kiss.
Skylar: Well, let's just get it over with. Come on, come on.
[They have their first kiss, Skylar giggling the whole time]
Skylar: [after a few seconds, Skylar bursts out laughing] I think I got some of your pickle!
Chuckie: So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.
Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all fucking bombed and been drinking. What the fuck is she gonna think about us?
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.
Will: [Sean is going through Will's profile. Inside we see are pictures of Will after brutal assaults by his foster parents] You ever have any, uh, experience with that?
Sean: Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful shit.
Will: No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?
Sean: Personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.
[Sean looks away for a moment]
Sean: I'm sure it ain't good.
Will: My father was an alcoholic. Mean fuckin' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause fuck him, that' why.
Sean: Your foster father?
Will: Yeah.
[pause]
Will: So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?
Sean: Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?
[Will shakes his head, stares off]
Sean: Will, you see this, all this shit?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It's not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know...
Sean: No you don't. It's not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It's not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: It's not your fault.
Will: [Will's eyes open, misty already] Don't fuck with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: It's not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean's arms]
Skylar: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
Skylar: [laughs] Okay, sounds good.
Will: Do you buy all these books retail or do you send away for, like, a shrink kit that comes with all these volumes included?
Chuckie: You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're too big of a pussy to cash it in.
Will: Oh, come on! What? Why is it always this? I mean, I fuckin' owe it to myself to do this or that. What if I don't want to?
Chuckie: No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.
Sean: And why does he hang out with those retarted gorillas, as you called them, because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty.
Sean: Look, if you're gonna jerk off, why don't you do it at home with a moist towel?
Will: Do you play the piano?
Skylar: A bit.
Will: Okay, when you look at a piano you see Mozart, right?
Skylar: I see "Chopsticks."
Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.
Will: Does this violate the doctor-patient relationship?
Sean: Not unless you grab my ass.
Will: You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for a buck fifty in late charges at the public library.
Will: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna staht doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, don't do that. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin education you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library
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