Sean: I knew you long before you ever became a mathematical god, I knew you when you were pimple faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on!
Lambeau: Yeah, yeah, you were smarter then me then and you're smarter then me now!
Morgan: Double Burger,
[singing]
Morgan: Chuck, I had a double burger!
Chuckie: Will you shut the fuck up, I know what you ordered, I was there
Morgan: So give me my fucking sandwich.
Chuckie: What do you mean your sandwich, I bought it, hey Morgan how much money you got on you?
Morgan: I said I'd give you the change when we ordered the Sno-Cones when we pulled up, so why don't you give me my sandwich and stop being a prick.
Chuckie: Well why don't you give me your fucking sixteen cents you got on you and we'll put your sandwich on layaway, there you go, keep it right up here for you, We'll put you on a program, everyday you bring your six cents and at the end of the week you'll have your sandwich
Morgan: Why do you have to be such an asshole?
Chuckie: What am I?, sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit, like how you got your couch, payment plans, remember how your mother brought in $10 for a year and she finally got her couch Rent- A-Center Style?
Morgan: Can I have my food now please?
Chuckie: [throws the burger at Morgan] Here's your fucking double burger!
Lambeau: Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you're smarter than me now. So, don't blame me for how your life turned out.
Sean: I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid! And I won't see you fuck him up like you're trying to fuck up me right now! I won't let you make feel like a failure too!
Sean: [Reading a letter from Will] "Sean, if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl." Son of a bitch. He stole my line.
Will: I didn't ask for this.
Sean: No, you were born with it. So don't cop out behind 'I didn't ask for this.'
Lambeau: You're angry at me for doing what you could have done but ask yourself, Sean. Ask yourself if you want Will to feel that way, if you want him to feel like a failure.
Sean: Oh, you arrogant shit! That's why I don't come to the goddamned reunions 'cause I can't stand that look in your eye. Ya know, that condescending, embarrassed look. You think I'm a failure. I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. I was a conscientious choice, I didn't fuck up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case. You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going, "The Field's Medal! The Field's Medal!" Why are you still so fuckin' afraid of failure?
Sean: I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole fuckin' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will.
Sean: There's honor, ya know, in taking that 40-minute so those college kids could come in the morning and their floors are clean and their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.
Will: That's right.
Sean: Right, and that's honorable. Sure that's why you took that job. I mean for the 'honor' of it.
Morgan: If you were gonna fight them, why didn't you fight them back there? We got snacks now!
Will: What the fuck do you want?
Lambeau: My name is Gerald Lambeau. The guy who you told to go fuck himself.
Will: Well, what the fuck do you want?
Will: You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey hon, don't forget the coffee!"
Sean: People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff.
Sean: Put it on my tab
Tim: You ever plan on paying your tab?
Sean: Yeah, chief. I've got the winning lottery ticket right here.
Tim: What's the jackpot?
Sean: Twelve million.
Tim: I don't think that will cover it.
Sean: Yeah, but it'll cover your sex change operation!
Tom: This is Professor Lambeau.
Janitor: And this is Professor Haze.
Skylar: Do you have lots of brothers and sisters?
Will: I'm Irish Catholic, what do you think?
Skylar: But how many?
Will: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Skylar: Why? Go on, what, 5? 7? 8? How many?
Will: I have 12 big brothers.
Skylar: You do not have 12 brothers.
Will: I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm lucky 13 right here.
Skylar: Do you know all their names?
Will: Do I... yeah they're my brothers.
Skylar: What are they called?
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: Say it again.
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: ...and Willy.
Will: Willy? Will...
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