Professor Snape: [taps the blank Marauder's Map with his wand] Reveal your secrets.
[writing appears on the map]
Professor Snape: Read it.
Harry: "Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and..."
Professor Snape: Go on.
Harry: "... and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Hermione: [after Hagrid gives Ron Scabbers back] I think you owe someone an apology.
Ron: Right. Next time I see Crookshanks, I'll let him know.
Hermione: [annoyed] I meant me!
Hermione: Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?
Ron: I'm warning you Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!
Hermione: It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.
Ron: A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.
Hermione: That's rich! Coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. It's all right, Crookshanks, just ignore the mean little boy.
Ron: [sitting bolt upright in bed] Spiders... the spiders... they want me to tap-dance. And I don't want to tap-dance!
Harry: [laughing] You tell those spiders, Ron.
Ron: Yeah, tell them... I'll tell them...
[falls straight back asleep]
Harry: [on the Knight Bus, traveling at high speed through London.] But the Muggles, can't they see us?
Stan Shunpike: Muggles? They don't see nothin', do they?
Shrunken Head: No, but if you jab them with a fork, they feel.
[laughs madly]
Cornelius Fudge: [just after Buckbeak's escape.] We must search the grounds!
Dumbledore: Search the *skies* if you must, Minister, but now I think I'll have a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, and executioner, your services are no longer required. Thank you.
Hagrid: You'll find no small glasses in *this* house.
Professor Snape: Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight are we?
[last lines]
Harry: [pointing wand to Marauder's map] I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
[credits roll to end]
Harry: Mischief managed.
Harry: Nox.
Hermione: Did I mention it's the most haunted place in Britain?
Ron: Twice.
Hermione: Oh. Do you want to move a bit closer?
Ron: Huh?
Hermione: To the Shrieking Shack.
Ron: Oh, no. I'm fine here.
Harry: What's the holdup?
Ron: Neville's probably forgotten the password again or something.
Neville Longbottom: [behind them] Hey!
Ron: Oh... You're there.
Ron: I didn't mean to open it.
[pause]
Ron: It was badly wrapped.
[pause]
Ron: [points at Fred and George] They made me do it!
George Weasley, Fred Weasley: Did not!
Professor Lupin: Now repeat after me - without wands please - repeat after me, Riddikulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Professor Lupin: Very good. A little louder please, and very clearly. Rid-di-kulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Malfoy: [under his breath] This class is ridiculous.
Ron: What the bloody hell was that all about?
[repeated line]
Ron: Bloody hell!
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