Captain Dudley Smith: I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.
Jack Vincennes: Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953.
Captain Dudley Smith: I wouldn't trade places with Edmund Exley right now for all the whisky in Ireland.
Captain Dudley Smith: Wendell, I'd like full and docile co-operation on every topic.
Dick Stensland: We'll do the town one night on me.
Bud White: I'll bring my wallet just in case.
Brett Chase: Excuse me, ma'am. Just the facts.
Captain Dudley Smith: You'll do as I say, and ask no questions. Do you follow my drift?
Bud White: In technicolor, sir.
Dick Stensland: I got a hot date.
Bud White: Yeah? Who is she and what did you arrest her for?
Ed Exley: I'm talking about the gas chamber, and you haven't even asked me what this is about. You've got a big "Guilty" sign around your neck.
Jack Vincennes: Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.
Jack Vincennes: Why don't you and I go someplace quiet cause I'd love to give you the low-down on Mitchum.
Jack Vincennes: Why in the world do you wanna go digging any deeper into the Nite Owl killings, Lieutenant?
Ed Exley: Rollo Tomasi.
Jack Vincennes: Is there more to that or am I supposed to guess?
Ed Exley: Rolo was a purse snatcher. My father ran into him off duty, and he shot my father six times and got away clean. No one even knew who he was. I just made the name up to give him some personality.
Jack Vincennes: What's your point?
Ed Exley: Rolo Tomasi is the reason I became a cop. I wanted to catch the guys who thought they could get away with it. It's supposed to be about justice. Then somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. Why'd you become a cop?
Jack Vincennes: I don't remember.
Jack Vincennes: I'm the technical advisor. I teach Brett Chase how to walk and talk like a cop.
Jack's Dancing Partner: Brett Chase doesn't walk and talk like you.
Jack Vincennes: Well, that's 'cause he's the television version. America isn't ready for the real me.
Pierce Patchett: I use girls that look like movie stars. Sometimes I employ a plastic surgeon. When the work had been done, that's when you saw us.
Bud White: That's why her mother couldn't I.D. her. Jesus fucking Christ.
Pierce Patchett: No, Mr. White. Pierce Morehouse Patchett.
Johnny Stompanato: You want an autograph? Write to MGM.
Ed Exley: Since when do two-bit hoods and hookers give out autographs?
Johnny Stompanato: What'd you say to me?
Ed Exley: LAPD. Sit down.
Lana Turner: Who in the hell do you think you are?
Jack Vincennes: Ed...
Ed Exley: Take a walk, honey, before I haul your ass downtown.
Johnny Stompanato: You are making a large mistake.
Lana Turner: Get away from our table.
Ed Exley: Shut up! A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stompanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She just looks like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: What?
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
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