Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Martin Riggs: We both know why I was transferred. Everyone thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.
Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
Martin Riggs: What?
Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both are fucked!
Martin Riggs: Terrific.
Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.
Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-...
Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die?
Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?
Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!
[after stopping Riggs from shooting himself]
Roger Murtaugh: You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
[Picking up a young prostitute]
Young prostitute: What have you got in mind?
Martin Riggs: Well, I want you to come home and watch television with me.
Young prostitute: You serious?
Martin Riggs: Yeah. "The 3 Stooges" are on in 20 minutes.
Martin Riggs: This is a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!
Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker.
Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.
[Discussing a theory]
Martin Riggs: That's very thin.
Roger Murtaugh: Thin is my middle name.
Martin Riggs: Considering your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised.
Martin Riggs: I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.
[Riggs is captured by General McAlister]
Martin Riggs: You're General Peter McAlister, Commander of Shadow Company.
McAlister: I see we've heard of each other.
Martin Riggs: Yep. It'll almost be a shame when I nail you.
Martin Riggs: Look, why don't we just the cut the shit here? We both know why I was transferred. People think I'm crazy, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.
Sergeant McCaskey: You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren't tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an '80s man...
Roger Murtaugh: How do you figure?
Sergeant McCaskey: Last night I cried in bed. So how is that?
Roger Murtaugh: Were you with a woman?
Sergeant McCaskey: I was alone. Why do you think I cried?
Roger Murtaugh: Sounds like an '80s man to me...
[Repeated line in all 4 movies]
Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit!
Martin Riggs: Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?
[When Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight]
Roger Murtaugh: Get that shit off my lawn!
|
