[from trailer]
John Smith: Come to Daddy.
Jane Smith: [she beats and kicks him] Who's your Daddy now?
John Smith: [searching for Jane, holding a pistol] Honey...!
John Smith: [after tripping into a fence and accidentally firing a shot at his wife] Oh, dear God!
John Smith: Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!
John Smith: [at marriage counseling] Ask us the sex question again.
Jane Smith: [whispers] John.
John Smith: [softly] Ten.
John Smith: How many? Do you want me to go first? Okay, not that I keep count or anything... but somewhere around high 50s low 60s... not that it matters or anything.
Jane Smith: 312.
John Smith: 312?
Jane Smith: Some were two at a time.
John Smith: [after firing a rocket launcher] We should so not be allowed to buy these.
John Smith: [after Jane escapes on a high wire] Chicken shit!
Jane Smith: Pussy!
John Smith: [after he finds out that Jane stole all of his guns] Bitch.
Marriage Counselor: One a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest or is 1 the highest?
Marriage Counselor: Just answer with your instinct.
Eddie: Mom! We're on high alert here! I almost killed you right there!
Eddie: No, thanks, I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.
Jane Smith: You still alive, baby?
Jasmine: Jane, it's your husband!
|
